Seven years ago I got tired of living my life the way I was. I couldn’t stop drinking, smoking, eating or doing drugs. I was sick constantly. I was living in harmful situations with toxic people, and each and every day was exactly the same. My only respite was to go out and get loaded again.
grief Archive
18 Jul 2012
Trans Activism and Burnout
Over the past few years, I’ve worked hard to try to participate in activism that was relevant to my interests and identities, and also to recruit others into that activism. Trans folk, and trans women in particular, have long had an inclination and good reason to hide from society, to “go stealth” as we call it in the community. Societal pressures pushed us into a permanent closet that more closely resembled a mausoleum than the relative comfort of the closet. Our past was dead and our present remained cold and isolated, with few if any places we could reveal our history in a safe and confidential space.
11 Jul 2012
Suicide: An Emotional Tsunami
The thing with suicide, though, is that it isn’t just a single event. It’s a trigger event that sets off waves of destruction, and even those who aren’t directly linked to that person, who aren’t close to them, are affected, and the ripple effects are wide spread and devastating to everyone within reach. We’re all affected, particularly in the queer community, and doubly so in the trans community.
05 Jul 2012
My Experience with Psychotic Depression (Micah)
I am not sure where to start. There is so little I remember. I’m not even certain of my exact diagnosis now. Is it psychotic depression or schizoaffective disorder? Or something else? It doesn’t really matter.
03 Jul 2012
My Experience With Ambien
Upon arriving which was already somewhat late, she gave me a small ziploc bag with an Ambien in it in case I had difficulty getting to sleep. I told her that was almost a guarantee, and so she suggested I take it as soon as I got settled for bed. Settling into the remarkably comfortable bed, I opened my laptop and checked Facebook again, checking in with people one more time for that awful day, and let a few close friends know I was staying with someone for the night and I was safe. I took the Ambien with the rest of my meds, and rolled over to try to sleep.
16 Jan 2012
My Experience with Schizophrenia (Coda)
Trigger warnings for description of psychotic episodes and a suicide attempt, in detail, and violent imagery.
I have Schizophrenia. I find certain words can lose their sting when we just come out and say them. So I’m saying it. I live with Schizophrenia. This is my story.
14 Dec 2011
How to Bury Our Dead
We would like to thank our (first!) special guest author, Amber Dawn, and Arsenal Pulp Press, for allowing us to republish this short story on QueerMentalHealth.org. Grief is a very important issue for mental health, and Amber Dawn does an amazing job at addressing how we can deal with grief within the LGBTQ community. This short story can be found in the anthology, Second Person Queer (Arsenal Pulp Press, 2008). Amber, you are a powerful writer, and we at QueerMentalHealth.org would like to invite you to come back anytime.
Everyone dies; we can agree on that. And although we probably don’t really like to, we can also agree that the mortality rate for queers is higher than for happily married heterosexuals. Doesn’t it seem a little off that we—with our rich array of community rituals and traditions—don’t have customary means to mourn? Exactly how do we bury our dead?
25 Nov 2011
My Mother, Madness, and Me
I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Gabriel Charonzec. In his first post with us, he talks about his relationship with his mother, and how she supported him through his struggles with anxiety and depression. Sometimes love conquers all, and we are glad that this was one case in which […]
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