parenting Archive

On “Family Values” and Mental Health

Family values is problematic, both on the right, and the left. Why? The simple answer is that it renders worthless the value of anyone who isn’t (heterosexual and) married with children. By placing families on that pedestal, it leaves everyone else at the bottom. The obvious demographic groups affected include those living in poverty, those who have addictions, people of colour, and single parents. But this also includes all working middle class (and even super-rich) who are single, who choose not to have children, or who choose not to marry.

Too Big to Fail

You probably know my name, my face, and my story. You may at some point looked up to me. That’s fine. I sought out a role as a leader in the community for a reason. I thought I could help, and people tell me I have succeeded. Researchers tell me their studies keep coming back with the same result; study participants keep saying the group that I somehow ended up leading saved their lives.

Coming to terms with childlessness

I never wanted to be a mother when I was young. Seduced by the freedom I could have as a single woman, at varying levels of “being about to take care of myself” financially and psychologically, I pushed onward. When I was 19 and in college I had an abortion. The father was irresponsible and unemployed, and I wanted to graduate. I wanted to live an exciting, satisfying life and knew if I kept the child I would be doomed to poverty and single-mother-dom before I had even gotten started.