I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Kaity Marie Baldwin. In her first post with us, she talks about taking responsibility for one’s own mental health. Thanks for sharing with us, Kaity!

It took me a long time to realize how lucky I was: a psychiatrist, a therapist, medication. All of these arranged in my life to provide the support I so desperately needed but wished I didn’t. Who wants to see a psychiatrist for the rest of their lives? Who wants to need therapy sessions? Support can sometimes be a reminder of why you need it, and it makes you feel so helpless.

Tags: bipolar disorder, education, exercise, feeling helpless, medication, mood, patients, psychiatrists, responsibility, routines, self-acceptance, self-care, sleep, support, therapists

I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Yael Cohen. In her first post with us, she tells her story of battling with depression. Thanks for sharing with us, Yael!

Trigger Warnings: Suicidal ideation, rape, sexual assault

I havent always been this way, when I was younger I like to think I was a pretty normal, what we would now refer to as a gender fluid child. I was born with an intersex spectrum disorder. My depression started when I was about eight, as at the time I was being raped by a family “friend.” This would lead later to a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (at age 9) and Major Depressive Illness (at age 16) after a stay in the psychiatric ward for suicidal ideation. To top it off I spent much of my formative years in hospitals as I was born with several problems physically. Just to add to my depressed mood.

Tags: anxiety, BC Ambulance, community, depression, ER admissions, fear, flashbacks, gender fluidity, gender identity, hospitalization, hospitals, identity, intersex, involuntary hospitalization, Major Depressive Disorder, men, Mental Health Act, mood, physical illness, police, Prozac, psychiatrists, PTSD, rape, RCMP, sex, sexual assault, sexual orientation, suicidal thoughts, suicide, suicide attempts, therapists, transgender

Trigger Warning: Mention of self-harm and suicide

Approaching therapy without really knowing where you’re going or why you’re doing what you’re doing can be scary, and at times, feel thoroughly futile. I know – I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. My feelings about my therapy ranged from a desperate need for it to work, to a feeling that my problems could never be resolved, to now, the light of day as I find myself from time to time using the techniques I’ve been taught and working to control my emotions.

Tags: attention, behavioural therapy, CBT, cognitive distortions, coping skills, DBT, depression, emotional distress, emotional regulation, emotions, focus, loneliness, mental images, mood, perspective, regaining control, self-harm, shame, suicide, therapists, therapy, thoughts, trains of thought

The last few weeks have been chaotic for me. I’ve been in a mixed episode, and starting last week, I’ve been hearing voices. Whispers, chatter, and someone calling my name. All either alone, or only with my partner nearby, and she’s confirmed that they aren’t things that she’s heard. I’ve also been feeling like the crows that wake me up in the morning are mocking me. I’ve known for months that something like this was inevitable, but it’s still jarring to experience a psychotic episode for your first time.

Tags: Abilify, agitation, antipsychotic, anxiety, atypical antipsychotics, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, challenges, comfort, confusion, crying, delusions, depression, diagnosis, dosages, emotional support, emotions, family, family support, fear, free choice, hearing voices, honesty, hospitalization, hypomania, informed consent, irritation, lamictal, lamotrigine, mania, medication, mixed episodes, mood, numbness, Oppression Olympics, partners, privacy, psychiatrists, psychosis, quality of life, queer-friendly doctors, relationships, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, sedation, self-harm, seroquel, stigma, suicidal thoughts, support, symptoms, therapy, thought processes

Zopiclone is a non-benzodiazepine hypnotic typically used to treat insomnia. It is a controlled substance.

Tags: addiction, age, agitation, alcoholism, anxiety, anxiolytics, benzodiazepines, depression, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, fatigue, hallucinations, headaches, hypnotic, impaired driving, insomnia, memory, memory loss, metallic taste, mood, psychosis, REM sleep, restlessness, seizures, sleep apnea, sleep quality, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, thyroid, thyroid dysfunction, Valium, withdrawal, zopiclone

I’m in a DBT group right now. It’s comprised of four modules, and I just finished my second, which is distress tolerance. Of all the things I could possibly say about it, the most accurate would be that it’s a lot of work. Think of it this way: it’s a lot of practicing things that are aimed at reducing distress, regardless of what mood or state of mind one might be in. Thankfully my emotions are still pretty distressing on a regular basis, so I was able to more or less have something to compare the results to.

Tags: activities, anger, angry music, anxiety, appealing to the senses, avoidance, binge eating, breathing exercises, comfort, DBT, depression, distress, distress tolerance, eating disorders, emotions, gaining perspective, guilt, improving the moment, jealousy, letting go, loud music, mantras, meditation, mental exercises, mindfulness, mood, music, nature, panic, prayer, pros and cons, purging, purpose, radical acceptance, reaching out, religion, sadness, safety, self soothing, self-destructiveness, senses, shame, spirituality, stress, television, therapists, therapy, volunteering, wise mind

Prometrium (Progesterone) is a “bioidentical” hormone in the progestin class of hormones. Unlike other progestin sources, the bioidentical term indicates that the progestin used is structurally identical to human progesterone. Prometrium is a plant derived progesterone suspended in peanut oil in a capsule. Prometrium is micronized Progesterone suspended in peanut oil. Brand Names: Prometrium Generic [...]

Tags: allergies, bioidentical, blood clotting, breast tenderness, confusion, cramps, depression, dizziness, headache, heart disease, hormones, HRT, memory loss, menstruation, mood, mood changes, peanut allergy, pregnancy, Progesterone, progestins, Prometrium, stroke, transgender

In retrospect, I never was a child with high esteem for myself. I faced two distinct messages that I feel shaped my self-worth as a young adult: the media along with all the beautiful women I admired sent the message that to be a woman means I need to be beautiful and as a Catholic, I needed to be holy and a homosexual was not holy. So I grew up wanting to be beautiful and fearing being gay.

Tags: acceptance, anxiety, beauty, bisexual, blame, body image, bullying, Catholic shame, Catholicism, codepedancy, coming out, counselling, denial, depression, doubt, drugs, escapism, family support, feeling worthless, fitting in, homophobia, insomnia, internalized homophobia, isolation, lesbian, low self esteem, manageability, media portrayals, mood, mood disorder, motivation, overcompensation, panic attacks, parental approval, parental rejection, peer isolation, recovery, rejection, relapses, religious homophobia, religious upbringing, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-harm, self-hatred, shame, suicidal thoughts, suicide, throwing up, women in media