Author Archive

About Author

As a gay man living with HIV and in recovery from mental illness and addiction, my mission is to help others who struggle with these issues know that they are not alone and encourage them to speak out. If I can talk about it, so can you! I dual diagnosed HIV+ and Bipolar 1 in 1996. I write on many topics, financial, recovery, compound stigma, HIV and Bipolar, isolation, disability, some jokes, it's random. In addition to raising awareness I raise funds for both HIV and Rainbow Heights in Brooklyn. I ride subways and buses wearing T-shirts that read, "I'm Positive," "Bipolar," "Bipolar Bear with a bear claw on the shirt" I work part-time, live in public housing and celebrate my 56th birthday on 2/16. I'm thankful to be part of QMH and hope my posts are helpful in letting others, possible like myself know that they are not alone.

16 Jun 2015

Suicide, In Memory of their son fifteen months ago.

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Grief, Living with HIV/AIDS, Suicidal Thoughts
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Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide, and grief.

I was walking on Eight Avenue to catch my bus when I stopped abruptly causing the couple which I has just passed to stop as well. The only thing I heard, was “are you going to talk this loud all night so that everyone could here what you say,” followed by laughter. The laughter peaked my curiosity so I turned and said what was so funny. The wife said you heard me, I said no all I heard was your husband and asked her what did you say, her reply, there goes a man I would love to have sex with as they continued to laugh.

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04 Jun 2015

Brush Fire

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Anxiety, Art, Panic Attacks, Personal Stories, Prose
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Trigger warning: Description of panic attacks and severe anxiety

I had four back to back panic attacks the most severe I walked four blocks past my office stopped wasn’t lost, but said to myself what am I doing here, and started to boil in side as I made my way back towards my office. As I got closer, block by block the boiling of emotion like a volcano started to erupt and it did. It was severe, so severe I couldn’t see the medication I carry in my bag as my mind had left me, my mind had left me, rare.

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03 Mar 2015

Are you on SSDI and coming into inheritance? Special Needs Trust: a must read

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Bipolar Disorder, Disability, Finances, Info, Lifestyle Changes, Living with HIV/AIDS, Mental Illness, Support
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If your parent or parents pass away and they own assets, possibly a home or investments, all this makes up an estate and goes into their wills. If your folks leave you assets and you don’t have a Special Needs Trust in place, you will be forced to spend down all your inheritance so that you can re-qualify for your S.S.D.I. monthly benefits.

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05 Feb 2015

Full Disclosure: HIV, Bipolar and Insomnia….Not Easy but Necessary

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Bipolar Disorder, Living with HIV/AIDS, Mental Illness, Personal Stories
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I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Stephen Puibello. In his first post with us, he talks about disclosing HIV, insomnia and bipolar status in romantic relationships. Thanks for sharing with us, Stephen!

Full disclosure; HIV, bipolar and insomnia, and why full disclosure is important, not just for the safety of transmission for the man you are with, but for your own anxieties around being a dual diagnosed HIV and bipolar, mental health consumer, as insomnia for me is extremely problematic. It has ruined two relationships as both partners didn’t understand the severity, all they noticed was I wasn’t in bed when they woke up, I know not the right men for me. Not easy, but necessary if you are to find Mr. right, he’s out there.

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