death Archive

On Life, Death, and Fatness

The thing of it is, my sister’s death has taught me that fat shaming from the outside world is, astoundingly, the very least of my problems, even though it affects my friendships, relationships, the quality of care I receive on literally any platform, and my chances of getting things like jobs and housing, regardless of my references and qualifications. I have been realizing in the past year and a bit that the worst damage is the damage I now do to myself: internalized fat phobia.

Transgender Day of Remembrance, 2015

Another year has gone, and sadly, so have way too many people. Transgender Day of Rememberance is the day where we remember those who have lost their lives to transphobic hatred. Please take a moment to remember them, and to recognize that the vast majority of these victims were women of colour.

Hanners Blackthorne,
Creator, QueerMentalHealth.org

Christian, A Poem About Grief

I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Rose. In her first post with us, she shares her feelings about the loss of her beloved dog. Thanks for sharing with us, Rose!

While I was in residential treatment for self harm, my dog and lifelong friend and brother died. He was very sick and had to be put down so he wouldn’t suffer anymore. My family is still shaken up.

End of an Era

Tomorrow is my seven-year anniversary of sobriety. Well by the time it’s posted it’ll be ‘today’ or ‘yesterday’. But y’know what I mean. It’s weird. Seven years. It’s a long time, and then it’s also not. It also goes very fast when life passes by and one is not mindful or living in the present. I can honestly say that most of my recovery has been one big, long panic. Will I get loaded? Will I find a job? How am I going to pay the rent?

I would explain it to you, but I don’t know how.

These past months (as gone by my silence) have slowly burned me down to nothing. I took on too much took quickly, became everyone’s rock, and I forgot about myself.

My brothers death happened seven months ago. People are now telling me it’s time to pack his things away, time to dust his room (which is now my room). People are telling me it’s time to put him away.

But how am I meant to put away a life I am just beginning to grieve? And from this, I get asked; “Why do you feel this way now?”

Brother Mine

I’m afraid you have become furniture, brother mine.

Nothing but an engraved box among a hollow wooden desk.

You’re not longer those books your read, the letters that lined

The inside of your throat and tongue. You’re no longer

The songs you played with shaking fingers and bouncing

Legs at three AM when the world finally dozed to sleep.

The Science and Mathematics of Death

Editor’s note – this story is continued from On Death, Depression, And The Moments Of Solitude That Follow.

I feel with death, a new journey in life begins. We must relearn how to live for the sake of our livelihoods. For the sake of life itself.

A Legacy Deferred

Note: I have not used any real names in this article. However, the people, places, and events described are real (to the best of my recollection).

Most people spend their lives actively seeking to create their legacy. For most people it is by having children, being good parents, and then good grandparents. For others it is the accumulation of wealth. Inventors have left indelible marks on our history and culture as well. Politicians and generals guide nations through both war and peace. For my childless, staff-grade officer Uncle “Michael”, though, there seemed to be no legacy after his senseless death in Iraq in 2003. Until now.

On Death, Depression, And The Moments Of Solitude That Follow

Trigger Warning: Death, Depression

My brother passed away of this month. He was a young man, only 23 years old and beginning his life. He, like the majority of my family, suffered greatly from mental illness. We shared depression, anxiety, and OCD. Though, sadly, his mental illnesses seemed to grow as mine began to ease.

But now that he is gone, I am yet again forced to work and understand my depression. I always wished it were something tangible that I could hold within my hands and pull layers away to physically understand it. I want to be able to understand the immensity. The silence. The deafening noise that combats that eerie moments of peace.

Suicide: An Emotional Tsunami

The thing with suicide, though, is that it isn’t just a single event. It’s a trigger event that sets off waves of destruction, and even those who aren’t directly linked to that person, who aren’t close to them, are affected, and the ripple effects are wide spread and devastating to everyone within reach. We’re all affected, particularly in the queer community, and doubly so in the trans community.