My alcoholism reached a head in spring of 2013, brought to desperation by the death of my wife and my subsequent despair. By this point I was drinking from three pm onward everyday, first wine and then vodka, whiskey or rum. Nothing would bring her back, but I could annihilate myself. It was starting to dawn on me, though, that this was making me nothing but miserable. I wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything. I wasn’t socializing or running errands. I could barely cook. Being on disability, I wasn’t working. My full-time job was getting to the bottom of the bottle.
withdrawal Archive
28 Jan 2013
More lists
I really want to sleep without sleep meds. I have had insomnia off and on for almost twenty years, since I was fifteen. When I was younger, it was usually trouble getting to sleep. As I got older, it became trouble with staying asleep. I took Ambien every night for around a year, which at first was bliss. It stopped working, though, and I spent three weeks sleeping almost not at all. Then I got Lunesta, which I have taken every night for the last year. If my options are really not sleeping or taking meds, I am definitely willing to take meds.
16 Jan 2013
Abilify Quick Facts
Abilify is a second-generation antipsychotic. It works by regulating dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine levels in the brain.
11 Dec 2012
8 years
December 6th 2012 marked my 8 year anniversary free from drugs.
The day was almost uneventful. Even after all that I have learned about staying in the now, and just for today, I somehow felt that once I made it to this day, this very tough year that has passed would all make sense. But it was just another day. Another day in my life. My clean life, free from the clutches of chemicals controlling every part of me, everything I would strive for, everything I would do.
24 Aug 2012
Risperdal Quick Facts
Risperdal is a second-generation antipsychotic. It works by reducing dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine levels in the brain.
Generic Name: Risperidone
20 Aug 2012
My Experience With Borderline Personality Disorder (Breyonne)
I am a 33 year old woman. I received a diagnosis about a year and a half ago of Borderline Personality Disorder. At first I didn’t really understand what it was. I thought, Isn’t what I have more serious than that? I was pretty sure I had something else, something more recognizable. Something I’d actually heard of, for instance. Turns out it’s serious enough. On top of the shitstorm of feelings and thoughts I have on a daily basis, professionals are reluctant to treat people with BPD. We’re notorious for being ‘hard to deal with’.
06 Aug 2012
Crisis Checklist
Inspired by work people have done on madness maps and mental health first aid kits, I decided to make a checklist/flowchart to use when I am having a particularly hard time or am in crisis. It was a good process for me to make because it helped me to really think about what has helped me or caused me trouble in the past. I really like that we can make these sorts of tools for ourselves instead of relying on more general (often judgmental) dos and don’ts or advice from people who never know us as well as we know ourselves.
02 Aug 2012
Zopiclone Quick Facts
Zopiclone is a non-benzodiazepine hypnotic typically used to treat insomnia. It is a controlled substance.
23 Jul 2012
Melatonin Quick Facts
Melatonin is a neurotransmitter which regulates one’s sleep cycle.
27 Jun 2012
Ambien Quick Facts
Ambien is a powerful prescription sleep medication, in addition to being classified as a controlled substance in the United States. It is used to treat insomnia and poor sleep quality, usually prescribed by a psychiatrist as opposed to a primary care or family physician. It falls under the drug category of sedative-hypnotics and functions as a CNS depressant, working by slowing activity in the brain.
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