Brush Fire

Trigger warning: Description of panic attacks and severe anxiety

I’ve been in a place of late, stop. Know that I’m strong person, but know that I walk the planet at times not seeing people but pixels so many that my mind can’t process it all and at these periods, like flood gates all four sides lifted and the onset of a major panic attack happened..that was this past August.

I had four back to back panic attacks the most severe I walked four blocks past my office stopped wasn’t lost, but said to myself what am I doing here, and started to boil in side as I made my way back towards my office. As I got closer, block by block the boiling of emotion like a volcano started to erupt and it did. It was severe, so severe I couldn’t see the medication I carry in my bag as my mind had left me, my mind had left me, rare.

Thanks to three co-workers who saw me, stopped me as I rushed to the stairs hoping not to be seen…hurrying upwards, I heard my someone asking if I was okay,?

As soon as a heard a human voice and then felt theirs hands as they got me to step backwards, down three steps, did the melting speed up out came the tears, crying, I felt like I collapsed and I did into a chair I sat.

One got me water and said hydrate, the other raw almonds and said eat, the last handed me a photo of a kitten and said pet it and I said why and was told to just pet the photo and sure enough it hit…so fast like a brush fire it hit, the petting put out the flames, enough to where I could see my pills and take the one I needed for the anxiety.

Anxiety is no joke when it goes full range panic attack, that was my second ever, the first was when I diagnosed, but this one was severe and I’m thankful for the people in my life and for myself in that in a way I knew to go where I feel safe, it was my office and within less then an hour after taking the pill, I was bright, composed and working, advised to go home and relax, but I decided to stay and be around people.

Thanks to Andrea, Marion and Lisa who helped me through this ordeal. Hydration, water. Raw Almonds, food. Photo of kitten, distraction, all calmed me down so I could take my anti anxiety medication.

Original post: http://p2pyouarenotalone.blogspot.ca/2015/04/brush-fire.html

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