A few months ago, I saw someone who was not there. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a woman with long hair and a long dress leaning over the bed. She was not frightening or threatening in any way. I gradually realized that I was seeing her features more clearly than I should be able to, given how dark the room was. Then she faded away. I am as certain that I was awake then as I am ever certain that I am awake.
Tags: anxiety, delusions, disability justice, fear, ghosts, hallucinations, internalized oppression, mad pride, mental health consumers, mindfulness, paranoia, psychiatrists, psychosis, radical mental health, Saphris, shame, social anxiety, stigma, symptoms2 comments so far
Inspired by work people have done on madness maps and mental health first aid kits, I decided to make a checklist/flowchart to use when I am having a particularly hard time or am in crisis. It was a good process for me to make because it helped me to really think about what has helped me or caused me trouble in the past. I really like that we can make these sorts of tools for ourselves instead of relying on more general (often judgmental) dos and don’ts or advice from people who never know us as well as we know ourselves.
Tags: anxiety, art, BDSM, beauty, body, checklists, comfort, counseling, crisis, crisis checklist, depression, eating, emotions, enjoyment, exercise, fear, flowcharts, friends, games, hormones, hunger, hypnotic, illness, injury, insomnia, isolation, journaling, laundry, loneliness, madness map, madness maps, manageability, massage, medication, meditation, mental health, mental health first aid kits, messy apartments, misanthropy, museums, music, pain, painkillers, panic, parks, pets, projects, psych meds, psychiatrists, QueerMentalHealth.org, responsibility, rest, restlessness, self-fear, self-harm, self-help, self-help books, sex, showering, sleep, sleeping environment, snacks, social activities, stair climbing, stress, supplements, support groups, symptoms, task management, tea, The Icarus Project, therapists, therapy, tools, vulnerability, withdrawal, yoga1 comment
The last few weeks have been chaotic for me. I’ve been in a mixed episode, and starting last week, I’ve been hearing voices. Whispers, chatter, and someone calling my name. All either alone, or only with my partner nearby, and she’s confirmed that they aren’t things that she’s heard. I’ve also been feeling like the crows that wake me up in the morning are mocking me. I’ve known for months that something like this was inevitable, but it’s still jarring to experience a psychotic episode for your first time.
Tags: Abilify, agitation, antipsychotic, anxiety, atypical antipsychotics, bipolar disorder, bipolar II disorder, challenges, comfort, confusion, crying, delusions, depression, diagnosis, dosages, emotional support, emotions, family, family support, fear, free choice, hearing voices, honesty, hospitalization, hypomania, informed consent, irritation, lamictal, lamotrigine, mania, medication, mixed episodes, mood, numbness, Oppression Olympics, partners, privacy, psychiatrists, psychosis, quality of life, queer-friendly doctors, relationships, schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, sedation, self-harm, seroquel, stigma, suicidal thoughts, support, symptoms, therapy, thought processes0 comments