When I panic, it feels like my heart is stopping, or that my guts have been turned inside out, or that some sort of massive steam shovel or something has pulled out all my insides and rearranged them and dumped them into random places in my body. Sometimes I feel like the walls are falling in on me, and I can feel the space I am in (or at least my perception of it) going dark. Sometimes I start self-harming by punching myself or slapping myself or punching walls or hard objects or hitting my head against them. Sometimes I become dissociative and do not remember the incident. Sometimes none of these things happen and it manifests quite differently.
Author Archive
About Author
Emily Aviva Kapor
Rabbah Emily Aviva Kapor is a radical transfeminist rabbi and activist. Her rabbinic work focuses on creating innovative yet traditional Jewish law, liturgy, and ritual, in order to affirm trans* identities and experiences. As an autistic and hearing-impaired person, she also works for acceptance and accessibility for people with visible and invisible disabilities. Her other projects include writing, playing chamber music, advocating for alternative education, and smashing systems of institutional oppression. She studied classics and history of religion at Reed College and the University of British Columbia, and now lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts with her fearless and compassionate partner.
22 May 2013
Autism Acceptance Month, You, and Me
I would like to welcome the newest member of our writing team, Emily Aviva Kapor. In her first post with us, she talks about how to be an ally to autistic people. Thanks for sharing with us, Emily!
I am autistic. The way I experience the world is different than the way most other people do. I haven’t written much about this publicly yet, and I am continuing to learn to be comfortable with being an autistic adult and moving through the world with this part of my identity. Here, though, is something I wrote two weeks ago for the so-called “Autism Awareness Day” and posted to Facebook; I thought I’d edit it slightly and share it more widely here in honor of the much better idea of Autism Acceptance Month.