trust Archive

I’ll believe you.

Next time you see me falling
please remind me that it’s never wise
to put trust in people
who live for themselves

Overcoming Paranoia by Letting People Love Me

I would invite people into my world and it would set in. You can’t trust these people. And you definitely cannot trust groups. When it comes down to the survival of the group, you will always be disposable, as you have been before. You know from personal experience that no one cares if you’ve been harmed or abused if one of the leaders has done it. If the charismatic person can convince others you are crazy, you will lose. After all, you ARE crazy, right? It’s better just to run away. Before they hurt you and you hurt them. It’s better alone anyways.

Go Back to Sleep

These are my nightmares.

I have them a few times a week. Sometimes every night.

Sometimes they are just feelings. No dreams. Just waking feelings of fear.

I did not know nightmares were abnormal for adults until I started reading about it. Apparently a very small percentage (under 3%) of adults report more than 2 nightmares per week, or even year. Maybe that’s wrong. It is from wikipedia. But now it makes sense when I have told people about these, how no one seems to share the experience.


I build a bit of a wall around myself most of the time when I go out. I can’t be dealing with everyone’s energy and thoughts seeping into me when I’m trying to enjoy myself. Especially if they are people I’m not interested in sharing those things with. The couple in the abusive relationship across the room, the person at the table who’s having a difficult time, the guy bullshitting his way into a girl’s heart. You can also miss out on the good energy of a group of friends having fun or the atmosphere of a location full of love. That’s just what you have to sacrifice to stay safe. To stop from being overloaded, dissociated, and even eventually panicked.

My Partner With Borderline Personality Disorder (Hanners)

It is my pleasure to introduce the newest series, “My Partner With…” to Relationships can be a challenge for anyone, though they can be especially difficult when they are impacted by mental health issues. It is my hope that we can help others understand how to approach a partner’s mental health concerns. I’m starting this series off by talking about the issues that come up for myself and my partner, who has Borderline Personality Disorder.

If you were to get all your information about Borderline Personality Disorder by going to online support groups for partners of people with this condition, you would learn the following:

  • Borderlines are always abusive
  • Borderlines are always in denial
  • Borderlines never take responsibility for their actions
  • Borderlines will love you one minute, and hate you the next
  • Relationships with borderlines are notoriously unstable

My Experience With Borderline Personality Disorder (Breyonne)

I am a 33 year old woman. I received a diagnosis about a year and a half ago of Borderline Personality Disorder. At first I didn’t really understand what it was. I thought, Isn’t what I have more serious than that? I was pretty sure I had something else, something more recognizable. Something I’d actually heard of, for instance. Turns out it’s serious enough. On top of the shitstorm of feelings and thoughts I have on a daily basis, professionals are reluctant to treat people with BPD. We’re notorious for being ‘hard to deal with’.

Paranoia Paranoia, Everybody’s comin’ to get me…

triggers: suicide mention, delusion, paranoia, hallucination, mania, depression, historical abuse of mental health patients and queers

I am somewhere in the more manic fray of things. And I am paranoid. Probably delusional. It’s so much easier said than actually believed. I can say “It is delusional to think that everyone is against you, that even the people closest to you are hiding deep and damaging secrets, that everyone is only pretending to like you when they are around you…” But to truly believe that these thoughts are wrong is a gift.

Working with Hypersexuality

Living with bipolar disorder, when I get hypomanic, usually the first cue for me is wanting sex all. the. time. At times it gets so bad, it’s all I can think about, or I’ll spend the day masturbating rather than get any work done. Or I’ll spend my time searching for random sex partners to […]