mental illness Archive

My experience in the mental hospital

Trigger warning: Involuntary restraint, abuse from hospital staff.

I was passing by an elderly man in a wheelchair, and he grabbed at my arm. I shook my arm free and pulled away from him. All of a sudden, two nurses and a tech were yelling at me, telling me to go to my room or sit down. Admittedly, after they said that, I became quite defiant, but not a danger or threat to myself or others.

I Swear This Is Not My Best

Trigger Warning: Description of bulimic purging.

Romance
This is not romantic this is not beautiful
Fuck anybody who tells you it is

The Proof is On Her Arm

Trigger Warning: Art involving themes of sexual assault and self-harm.
A painting i made while thinking about how NOBODY FUCKING BELIEVED THAT I WAS RAPED BECAUSE PEOPLE IN AUTHORITY NEEDED PROOF…

On Being Different – a poem

i am the perfect target
daylight sparkling off my teeth as i laugh too loud, sing too deep, be too much…

OCD (a poem)

the same thing
day in and
day out
as i beg
and plead with
my brain
to stop

My Experience With The American Education System (Or, The Importance of Education for Disabled People)

I was fourteen years old, just out of the mental hospital. My mom and I had tried to get me enrolled in public high school, but they expelled me for “truancy” before I was even enrolled. I would find out later that this required a sort of trial that… Never. Fucking. Happened.

Suicide, In Memory of their son fifteen months ago.

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide, and grief.

I was walking on Eight Avenue to catch my bus when I stopped abruptly causing the couple which I has just passed to stop as well. The only thing I heard, was “are you going to talk this loud all night so that everyone could here what you say,” followed by laughter. The laughter peaked my curiosity so I turned and said what was so funny. The wife said you heard me, I said no all I heard was your husband and asked her what did you say, her reply, there goes a man I would love to have sex with as they continued to laugh.

My Experience with Discrimination

Over the next 7 months his comments grew more offensive, making hateful comments about my race, about our (perceived) sexualities and even comments about our mental health and what he thought was ‘wrong’ with us. He was messaging my partner constantly, not only offensive things but just irrelevant nonsense constantly. It grew to the point that my partner was having panic attacks every time there was a notification on the phone.

Damage

I want to put my best foot forward, but I only have two feet with the same mind. Can’t move forward, can’t go back, can’t stop what’s going to happen and cannot change what already has happened. And my past actions have made huge holes in my life, and my thoughts and emotions have minds of their own and take control, leaving me with a vague feeling that something happened, I did or said something and I cannot put my finger on the insanity that is driving my life.

Are you on SSDI and coming into inheritance? Special Needs Trust: a must read

If your parent or parents pass away and they own assets, possibly a home or investments, all this makes up an estate and goes into their wills. If your folks leave you assets and you don’t have a Special Needs Trust in place, you will be forced to spend down all your inheritance so that you can re-qualify for your S.S.D.I. monthly benefits.